My own nothingness...

I was impressed (and humbled) as we read through Mosiah chapter 4. There are a few times where King Benjamin refers to the reader in terms of nothingness. I really like this type of tough truth that really hammers down a humbling tone. In verse eleven it goes on to say "...and you own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel." Terrica and I both laughed at the phrase unworthy creatures. It seems harsh but it is very true and is very humbling to what we really truly are. I also am impressed with the phrase "humble yourselves even in the depths of humility". I think back to some of the most humbling times in my life and all I thought was "poor me", perhaps I should have been humbling myself even more to find that maximum humility.

I am grateful for the knowledge of something greater than myself. It is very difficult for me to remain humble at times with how abundantly blessed I am. I am thankful for the knowledge of the nothingness of the unworthy creature that I am and the humility that this brings me. I am grateful for all that I have and hope that I can use my talents and skills to be a tool in the masters hand and never become full of pride.

It Breaks My Heart

Tonight as I was reading in Alma 31 about the Zoramites denying Christ. In verses 15-18 it just breaks my heart to read what they say. Especially in verse 16 when they say, "...but we believe that thou hast elected us to be thy holy children and also thou hast made it known unto us that there shall be no Christ." When I read this it made me realize how lucky we are to have Christ in our lives. I don't know where I would be or where I wouldn't be (because we wouldn't exist) if it weren't for Christ. This chapter made me realize how blessed I truly am. I have a Savior who loves me unconditionally. He loves me even when I make mistakes. He suffered and died for me. Through him and this church I have an incredible family and friends that surround my life. I love my Savior very much and never in my life could I ever say "there shall be no Christ." We could not be here if there were no Christ and I can't imagine not having all the wonderful things that I do, especially my life. 

The right thing is not always easy!

Today I was reading about all the terrible trials that Alma and Amulek went through as they were preaching the Gospel. I don't even like watching violent movies so I can't imagine how horrible it would have been to watch in person as the believers were burned to death and the records destroyed. Amulek was rejected by his family and friends and to top it all off, they were imprisoned where they were beaten and starved. I can't imagine how much faith they had to continue preaching the Gospel among all that opposition. Sometimes I mistakenly think that if something is right, everything will go smoothly and there won't be any serious opposition. The story of Alma and Amulek reminds me that just because something is right does not mean that it will be easy. I hope that I can be strong and valiant in doing what is right, even when it is hard to do.

Have Ye Received His Image In Your Countenances?

The other day as I was walking into the Idaho Falls temple an elderly couple, who looked like they were in their 80s, were walking out. I noticed the bright blue eyes of the man and the look of peace in his eyes and face. The woman had a gospel glow about her too. They literally radiated joy and love in their faces. I thought of them the other day when I read in Alma 5:14 - Have ye received his image in your countenances? I looked up countenance in the dictionary and it said it meant expression of the face. I thought of other times I had noticed that special glow radiating from someone's face. I think the times I have noticed it the strongest is when I've been in the presence of prophets and apostles. Then I thought, do I show that I've received his image in my countenance? I found some general authority quotes that tell me I should. Brigham Young said:

"There is not a man or woman on this earth, whose peace is made with God, and who are associated with holy beings, and seeking after holy principles, but their countenances are lit up with a lamp of divine cheerfulness."

More recently President Faust said:

"A sacred light comes to our eyes and countenances when we have a personal bond with our loving Heavenly Father and His Son, our Savior and Redeemer."

All this made me think that there's no place for us as members of the church to walk around with sour expressions and grumpy attitudes. But what if I'm not "feeling" it some days? There's an expression Larry Wells of Wilderness Quest used to say, "Fake it until you make it." In other words, pretend to be happy and you'll eventually feel that way. But in reality, we should be the happiest people on earth. We have the joy of the gospel and our countenances should show it - just like that wonderful elderly couple that made such an impression on me as they were walking out of the temple.

Challenges Develop Great People

I have been reading the first several chapters in Alma and it is hard for me to believe that this great Prophet who has such a strong testimony was the same rebellious young man who went about trying to destroy the Church. Alma left his comfortable life as the Chief Judge to go out and spend the rest of his days as a missionary. He was imprisoned, hungry, tired, and discouraged but he was always obedient and bore a strong and sure testimony. Before our Book of Mormon challenge, I was reading about Paul (formerly Saul of Tarsus) in the New Testament. There are many similarities between the two prophets. Both worked hard to destroy the church in their younger years and both were visited by an angel, after which they worked with all diligence to undo the damage they had done and bring souls to Christ. I am wondering if their process of change and repentance helped make them the great prophets they both became. A tool of Satan is to make us feel unworthy and hopeless after we have done something wrong. It is inspiring to know that these two men, both the "vilest of sinners" could become the strongest and best servants working for the Kingdom of God.

Enos

Although Enos is a short book, I was impressed by many things. I first related to the phrase in vs 4 "And my soul hungered." I understand the meaning of this. When the gospel becomes an afterthought in my life, I begin to crave it. I become anxious for Sunday to come when I can go to church, or I want to hear the words of the prophet or read the scriptures or even just talk to my heavenly father.

The second thing that jumped out to me in this book was vs 12-16. This made me think about my desires and what I ask from the Lord. Enos had a desire that the records would be preserved and he prayed for the Lamanites. He had prayed and labored with ALL DILIGENCE and because of his faith, his prayers were answered and the things he prayed for were granted unto him. Sometimes when I pray for things, good things, I become frustrated when those good things don't happen. I think back on if I was laboring with all diligence like Enos had. What does "all diligence" mean? I think that it's different for everybody but to me, it means trying my very hardest to please the Lord.

The final thing that impressed me in Enos was the very last verse. I'm certainly not as old as Enos was when he was writing this but he seemed to so excited for his physical death so he could stand face to face with our Redeemer. He was so sure of his existence after death and he did not fear. In vs 8, it mentions Enos' faith in Christ who he had never seen or heard. I've often hoped that one day I can have a level of faith to not be scared of death and to have a clear conscious when I come face to face with the Redeemer. I guess I need to pray always and have the diligence that enos had.

Free to act for yourselves

Today I read 2Nephi chapter 10. Verse 23 jumped out at me,

...remember that ye are free to act for yourselves-to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.

Often I see people falling away from the church because they have had a particularly hard trial or because someone has offended them. These poor souls are choosing the way of everlasting death. Sure, they didn't choose their trial, but they were free to choose how to react.

In the Lord of the Rings, Frodo says of his trial (to carry the ring), "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."

I think that Gandolf's reply to Frodo's complaint is wonderful. He said, "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with (what) has been given us. There are other forces at work in this world besides the will of evil."

Satan is working hard, but we are blessed to have the gospel on the earth at this time. We have The Book of Mormon and a living prophet to guide us. We are the valiant souls who were saved for this time because we are strong. We are free to act for ourselves and the decisions we make now with "what to do with what has been given us" will affect us forever.

Richard G Scott said,

You cannot remotely imagine what the decision to be unwaveringly obedient to the Lord will allow you to accomplish in this life...As you walk the path of righteousness, you will grow in strength, understanding and self-esteem. You will dicover hidden talents and unknown capacities. The whole course of your life may be altered for your happiness and the Lord's purposes...Your righteous descisions determine who you are and what is important to you...For happiness now and throughout your life, steadfastly obey the Lord, no matter what preasure you fell to do otherwise (Making the Right Descisions, Ensign, May 1991, 34).

I know first hand that trials are hard and that we don't always wish to have them, but I am so thankful that I am free to act for myself, that my circumstances, or the actions of others don't control me, I control me. I always have the power to choose how I handle the situation. I have the power to choose the way of everlasting death or eternal life.